Growing up?

Hmmm, lets see this weekend was cold, cold, cold! Saturday night, I went to Alki beach, which is one of my favorite places in Seattle. (But not during the summer, too many tourists) The entire day was pretty windy and I wanted to sit on the grass with a bottle of wine, watch the waves, and listen to the breeze all against the Seattle Skyline as a back drop. I invited my older sister to go with me. The evening was really nice. We talked and I drank the whole bottle of Pinot Noir by myself and I tell ya! Ooh wiii was I feeling it!

During our 4 four conversation there was alot of stuff that I came to realize. Its funny how you live your life day by day and never really think about how other people see you. I guess its a Catch-22 really. I mean we are taught or we hope to learn to live life by our rules, no one else'. Who cares what people think? You are your own person and if a person or persons can't deal, well tough. You're not going to change, and you shouldn't. But I think for this mentality to work in the "real" world, you have to be aware of what you are doing to others and how you are coming off to others. There needs to be a balance struck between individualism and empathy. So when does it fail and blows up in your face? When you do something to another person without the conscious knowledge of doing it.

I think that I am a pretty observant person and am pretty sensitive to the needs of others but I think I can, (OK , get ready for it....self-awareness moment) be a little selfish and near-sighted sometimes. I think, from being single for so long, I've been so use to being by myself and doing things for myself that I forget about the other person. I neglect to take accountability for my actions and, how maybe, what the other person is doing is simply a re-action. Hmmm. I was quite proud of myself. I'm really excited to now be aware of this. It's funny. I mean I spent all day yesterday feeling sorry for myself and wondered how many people I pushed away but by the end of the night, I felt a little more confident in the person I've grown to be because I can recognize this fault.

So that was my weekend. Oh I also pass by this small store in downtown Renton called 'Happy Delusions' How fantastic is that? I've got to stop in there someday.