Complications

"Pride can stand a thousand trials,
the strong will never fall
but watching stars without you
my soul cries.

Heaving heart is full of pain,
Oooh, Oooh, the aching..."
"Kissing You" -Des'ree

I love that song, every time I hear it, I am amazed at how heart moving and breaking love's wants and needs can be. She does a fantastic job conveying all of this, you feel it in your gut when she sings. If you haven't heard this song yet, you should really make it a point to sit still for 4 minutes and 53 seconds and just listen.

So, I have had a pretty shitty week, well pretty shitty for the past month or so actually. I have always thought of myself as a pretty level headed person. I run on emotional fuel sometimes but for the majority of life, I think that I am a compassionate, logical person who is able to listen to reasoning wit empathy. So it blows my mind when I meet someone who is the complete opposite of all these things. In addition to that, she is a control freak. Not just control freak, as in over situations but over other people. Human beings! Maybe that is just me, but how does that work?

Anyways, for the past few weeks, I have felt that i have been on the receiving end of all the negative energy coming from this one individual person. And I don't think I have ever felt so small, insignificant and just plain all-out stupid, as this one person makes me feel. So one thing has been clear through all this: I need to get out. Hit the pavement and just take off running. And that is what I plan on doing... just waiting for the right moment. You want to wait for the optimum time, and set the timer to have enough time to walk away, find a nice grassy area, sit back and just watch it all explode. Chaos and havoc can be beautiful for one who is has a clear mind.